Why You Keep Falling for the Wrong One.

💌 Dear Woman,

Love and Attraction: What Your Heart Feels vs. What Your Soul Needs

We often think love begins with a spark, a glance across the room, a smile that lingers too long, a conversation that makes your pulse quicken. It’s thrilling. It’s intoxicating. And sometimes, it’s misleading.

Have you ever stayed just because the spark was strong even when your peace was gone?

Attraction is a rush. It’s the flood of emotions, hormones, and longing that makes your body lean forward and your thoughts swirl. It’s easy to confuse that feeling for love, to believe that just because someone makes your heart race, they are meant for you. But attraction isn’t always truth. And love isn’t always loud.

In fact, love often arrives without fireworks.
It walks in slowly. It observes. It holds space. It doesn’t beg for attention, it earns your trust.
Attraction is what you feel. Love is what you choose.

Are you attracted to them or to the idea of being chosen?

We live in a world that glamorizes the chase, the butterflies, the obsession, the passion that leaves you breathless. From movies to music to social media, we’re taught that if it’s not dramatic, it’s not real. If it doesn’t hurt a little, it’s not deep enough.

But that’s a lie.

A powerful one and a damaging one.

Because it convinces us to chase people who light us up for a moment… but disappear when we need warmth. It makes us stay in situations where we’re confused, unsure, and waiting to be chosen, because “the connection feels so strong.”
But connection without consistency isn’t love.
Attraction without emotional safety is just chaos dressed up as passion.

Do you miss them, or do you miss being wanted?

Why do we chase attraction over love?
Because we were taught to crave validation more than peace.
We want to be wanted. Desired. Seen. Chosen.
And when someone triggers those feelings in us, even if they’re emotionally unavailable or inconsistent, it taps into something deeper: our wounds.
That childhood belief that we have to earn love.
That if we’re pretty enough, quiet enough, smart enough, sexy enough, we’ll finally be enough to stay.
Attraction often mirrors our unfinished stories.

Are you chasing connection, or are you trying to fix a version of yourself you think isn’t enough?

It draws us to people who feel familiar, not because they’re good for us, but because they remind us of love we had to fight for. That’s not fate. That’s pattern. And if you’re not aware, you’ll confuse it for destiny.

But love… real love… is different.
It’s not just chemistry.
It’s emotional safety.
It’s clarity.
It’s two people choosing each other over and over, even when it’s not convenient.

Real love is:
~ A safe place, not a battlefield.
~ A warm presence, not a performance.
~ A consistent energy, not a constant high.

It’s a love that doesn’t just stir your heart, but grounds your spirit.

To the woman who always falls hard...

This is your reminder:
Just because it feels intense doesn’t mean it’s meant to last.
Just because you want them doesn’t mean they’re healthy for you.
And just because you’re deeply attracted to someone doesn’t mean it’s love.
You don’t have to chase anyone.
You don’t have to prove your worth.
The love that’s meant for you will see you, not just your beauty, but your depth, your fire, your softness, your scars.

Are you in love with the person or with the potential?
When someone pulls away, do you question them or yourself first?

You deserve a love that feels like freedom, not a trap you keep trying to escape.
You deserve a love that’s both calm and passionate, where your nervous system can relax and your soul can expand.
So pause. Reflect.
And the next time your heart races, ask yourself:
Is this love?
Or is it just a loud echo of what I used to crave.

What would happen if you stopped trying to earn love and just received it?

Let attraction awaken you, but let love be what you walk toward.
And never forget: the right love won’t just find you. It will stay.

With you always,

Felipa ❤️