Walk Away Faster Babe

Red Flags Don’t Turn Green.

Felipa Costilla
October 03, 2025

Hey babe,

Let’s be real, we’ve all had that moment where our body knew before our brain could catch up. The pit in your stomach. The weird silence after he texts something off. The way your chest tightens when his actions don’t match his words.

That’s not anxiety. That’s not you “being dramatic.” That’s your intuition screaming: RED FLAG.

And what do we do, girl? We pour glitter on it. We romanticize it. We say, “Well, he’s just complicated.” Or “he’s been through a lot.” Or the worst: “But the chemistry is insane.”

Let me break it to you, raw and uncut:
👉 Chemistry without consistency is chaos.
👉 Intensity without intimacy is manipulation.
👉 A red flag will never turn into a green one, no matter how patient, pretty, or forgiving you are.

The Truth About Red Flags

Red flags don’t come as neon signs. They slip in as “little things” you brush off:

The jokes that lowkey sting.
The “I was busy” texts after disappearing for days.
The way he tells you you’re “too much” when you finally speak your truth.

Babe, these aren’t quirks. They’re patterns. And patterns become prisons if you don’t catch them early.

Red Flags vs. Real Depth

🚩 Red Flag Vibe	🌹 Real Depth Vibe
“It’s so intense, I feel high.”	“It’s so safe, I feel like I’m home.”
He overshares trauma at 2 a.m.	He opens up slowly as trust builds.
He disappears, then comes back with excuses.	He shows up consistently, no performance.
Hot one day, cold the next.	Steady, present, and emotionally reliable.
Your body feels anxious around him.	Your body feels calm, grounded, at peace.
He’s emotionally unstable, exploding one day and apologizing the next.	He regulates himself, communicates clearly, and doesn’t make his chaos your responsibility.

Here’s the difference: intensity is a spark that burns out. Depth is a flame that stays steady. One excites your nervous system. The other nourishes your soul.

Why We Chase Red Flags

Here’s the hard truth: chaos feels familiar when you’ve mistaken love for survival.

If you grew up begging for attention, love that makes you beg will feel normal.
If drama was the standard, stability will feel “boring.”
If inconsistency was the baseline, you’ll confuse hot-and-cold with passion.

But listen carefully: Familiar doesn’t mean safe. Familiar doesn’t mean love. Familiar doesn’t mean forever.

How to Stop Ignoring What You See

Call it what it is. Stop making excuses for disrespect. If he’s inconsistent, say it. If he’s dismissive, own it.
Break your addiction to intensity. That dopamine hit from “will he text me back?” is not romance, it’s anxiety dressed up as desire.
Demand alignment. His actions must match his words. Periodt. No “buts,” no “later,” no “he’s trying.”
Detach your ego. You don’t win a prize for “fixing” a broken man. The only prize is self-betrayal.

✨ Reflection Prompt

Where in your love life are you still trying to paint red flags green? What would shift if you trusted your gut the first time instead of the fifth?

💭 Quote of the Week

“Red flags don’t mean try harder. They mean walk faster.”

🎵 Mood Song

“The Hills” – The Weeknd
Since the topic it’s about red flags, here’s how beautiful red flags can be. But you are stronger than that.

Stop glorifying dysfunction. Stop worshipping the “almost” man. Stop mistaking butterflies for blood pressure.

The next time you see a red flag, don’t debate it, don’t negotiate with it, don’t beg it to change. Walk. That’s how you protect your power. That’s how you save your softness for someone who deserves it.

Because unstable men don’t make passionate lovers, they make unsafe partners. And babe, you deserve so much better than unsafe.

P.S. If you’re tired of second-guessing yourself and want clarity on whether your relationship is healthy or toxic, take this quick Relationship Health Test 👉 shereflects.com/relationshiphealthtest.
Don’t gamble with your heart, babe. You deserve to know the truth.

Felipa XOXO💌