This Will Hurt

(In a Good Way)

Author

Felipa Costilla
January 23, 2026

Let’s be honest
if they texted you right now, saying “Can we talk?”
you’d feel a rush before you felt peace.

So tell me:

Do you really want closure
or do you want one last emotional hit?

Because closure isn’t what you think it is.

Here’s the truth no one tells you:

Closure doesn’t come from conversations.
It doesn’t come from apologies.
It doesn’t come from explanations.

It comes from deciding you’re done asking.

And that part?
That scares people.

Why you’re still stuck

Be real with yourself for a second.

Are you waiting for:

  • Them to admit they were wrong?

  • Them to finally understand your pain?

  • Them to explain why they did what they did?

  • Them to say sorry in the exact way you imagined?

Now ask yourself this:

What if they never do?
What if they already moved on?
What if they don’t even see it the way you do?

Do you stay stuck forever?

The illusion of closure

People chase closure because it feels productive.
Like healing.
Like growth.

But most of the time, it’s just emotional procrastination.

You replay conversations.
You imagine what you’d say.
You rehearse speeches they’ll never hear.

Tell me:

How many nights have you spent rewriting a conversation that already ended?

Yeah. Thought so.

A real moment (no softness)

There was a time I swore I couldn’t move on without “understanding.”
I needed answers.
Reasons.
Logic.

So I waited.
And waited.
And waited some more.

Until one day it hit me:

They weren’t confused.
They weren’t misunderstood.
They just didn’t choose me.

And no conversation was going to change that.

That realization hurt
but it also set me free.

So ask yourself:

If you already know how it ended…
what exactly are you waiting for?

What closure actually is

Closure is accepting:

  • You won’t get every answer

  • You won’t be fully understood

  • You won’t get justice from the person who hurt you

Closure is saying:
“I’m done needing you to validate my experience.”

And babe, that takes power.

Hard questions you can’t avoid

Read these slowly:

  • Are you healing or still emotionally negotiating?

  • Do you want peace or do you want to be right?

  • Are you waiting for closure, or avoiding letting go?

  • Who would you be if you stopped reopening this wound?

Sit with that.

Don’t rush past it.

Why letting go feels terrifying

Because closure means:

  • No more hope

  • No more fantasy endings

  • No more “what if”

And hope can be addictive.

But ask yourself:

Has hope actually helped you move forward
or kept you emotionally tied to the past?

How to give yourself closure (the real way)

Not poetic. Not cute. Real.

1. Stop asking questions you already know the answer to

Silence is an answer.

2. Accept the version of them you got

Not the one you imagined. Not the one with potential.

3. Let go without understanding everything

You don’t need clarity to choose yourself.

4. Decide that your peace matters more than explanation

That’s maturity.

5. Close the door without slamming it

No drama. No speeches. Just distance.

That’s power.

🎧 Song for this phase

You don’t need closure from someone who already showed you who they are.

You need permission
to stop waiting.

And you already have it.

Felipa XOXO💌