If They Wanted To, You’d Know

If you’re confused, pause.
Not to analyze it. Not to reread anything.
Just to sit with it.

Because confusion is not a phase.
It’s not miscommunication.
It’s not something you fix by being more patient, softer, or more understanding.

Confusion is information.

And it’s been talking to you this whole time.

Let’s break the illusion gently, but honestly.

When someone wants you, you feel it in your body.
There’s steadiness. Consistency. Ease.
You’re not guessing. You’re not anxious. You’re not waiting for the other shoe to drop.

You’re present.

So if you’re constantly questioning where you stand,
checking your phone, replaying conversations,
or asking yourself “am I asking for too much?”
you’re not in uncertainty because you’re dramatic.

You’re in it because something isn’t being offered fully.

Here’s what no one explains:

Confusion keeps you emotionally attached.

When someone gives you inconsistent effort
sometimes warm, sometimes distant
your brain doesn’t detach. It clings.

Because humans are wired to seek patterns.
So when clarity isn’t given, your mind fills the gaps with hope.

Hope becomes fantasy.
Fantasy becomes attachment.

That’s why it’s so hard to walk away from situations that aren’t even that good.

It’s not love.
It’s unresolved tension.

And yes some people benefit from that.

Not everyone who keeps you confused is evil.
But they are undecided. And undecided people often enjoy the comfort of access without the weight of responsibility.

They like that you’re there.
They like the attention.
They like knowing you care.

They just don’t like choosing.

So they stay vague.
They stay inconsistent.
They stay just involved enough to keep the door open.

And you stay hoping clarity will come.

This is why “If they wanted to, they would” is true.

Not because life is perfect.
Not because people don’t struggle.
But because desire simplifies behavior.

When someone genuinely wants you:

• They don’t risk losing you.

• They make themselves clear.

• They don’t leave space for confusion.

• They close gaps instead of creating them.

They don’t let you spiral.

So when effort feels forced, delayed, or conditional
that’s not timing.
That’s priority.

Read this part slowly.

You didn’t stay because you were weak.
You stayed because your nervous system was waiting for consistency.

You were chasing certainty.
Trying to make sense of mixed signals.
Hoping the next interaction would finally feel solid.

But the moment you stop asking
“What do they feel?”
and start asking
“How do I feel here?”
everything changes.

Because the body doesn’t lie.

And peace doesn’t require guessing.

Here’s the truth that sets you free:

You don’t need more communication.
You don’t need closure talks.
You don’t need to explain your worth better.

You need less tolerance for uncertainty.

Because love doesn’t keep you confused.
Interest doesn’t whisper.
And effort doesn’t disappear.

If you don’t know where you stand,
you’re standing in a place that isn’t meant for you.

So let this be your permission:

You’re allowed to walk away from what’s unclear.
You’re allowed to choose calm over chemistry.
You’re allowed to stop waiting for potential to turn into action.
You’re allowed to trust what you feel instead of what you hope.

Closure isn’t something they give you.
It’s something you choose.

🎧 Song of the week

Snoh Aalegra — Find Someone Like You
Knowing your worth without asking.

If this landed, it’s because you already knew.
You just needed someone to explain why it felt the way it did.

You’re not confused anymore.
You’re informed.

And once you see this,
you don’t unsee it.

Felipa XOXO💌